Both Sides

Now that I've been on both sides of the spectrum, working mom and stay at home mom, I've learned a lot about myself. Basically what everyone asks themselves at one time or another. What do I want out of life?

What I wanted in my twenties is definitely different than my thirties. It reminds me of the movie City Slickers when Billy Crystal is trying to find the meaning of life.

For me, it turns out that time is the most valuable possession. There's no fluctuation in time. It is set and there is no outside influence to change it. Twenty four hours, seven days a week that's all you get. No politician, no government, no one person can change this. Or at least won't change it in the near future.

When I was working, time was nothing but a battle for me. I was always racing the clock to see how much I could pack into a twenty four hour day. Kind of like a robot always trying to optimize and become more efficient. Never realizing what I was missing out on. Never cherishing the small things, always moving onto the next task. Looking back at it now, my objective for working was so I wouldn't loose my identity of who I was. But that was my identity in my twenties. My identity in my thirties changed. 

Realizing that if I hadn't gotten laid off, I would still be working and wouldn't have had the chance to reflect on things makes this all a blessing in disguise. Everything happens for a reason. And to continue with the cliches, always stop to smell the roses. Funny how time can give you clarity too.

I'm not trying to paint a perfect picture because there is no perfect picture (sorry to burst your bubble). If you know me, you know there are still arguments, yelling and screaming going on over disagreements, but I am extremely lucky and thankful to have the love of my life and three beautiful, healthy children surrounding me. So far, this is the happiest time of my life. And I mean the true happiness, the deep down, great feeling in your chest, surrounding your whole being happiness. I hope everyone gets to experience this one time or another.