New Washer and Dryer

Finally, I have my new washer and dryer. Yay me! It is amazing how it only takes one cycle to dry one load.

"Bowling"

Warning: Mom, Dad, you might want to skip this one.

The typical bedtime routine was upon us. The girls were tucked into bed, still up, but winding down for the night. We had even gone through the routine, "I'm thirsty, I need a drink" and "I have to go potty" for the hundredth time.

Since we don’t have a lot of time for extra curricular activities, we have to be a little creative. So we decided to go down stairs for a little "bowling activity." We have always been able to finish a game without getting caught...until last night, that is.

We were on the last frame when the pitter-patter of running feet was heard above us and then down the basement steps.

Child #1 says, "Mom, Dad, Child #2 hurt her eye."

I yell before they reach the basement, “Please go back upstairs girls.” As we scramble to hide the "bowling" evidence.

Child #1 appears in the doorway and says, "Why are you guys wearing towels?" Shocking, they didn’t listen.

Trying to hold a straight face, I reply nonchalantly, “Because we were trying on Halloween costumes, now please go upstairs.”

Child #1 and Child #3 look at us strangely and say in unison, "Oh." And run back upstairs. Great now I have to go buy Halloween costumes for us.

I return upstairs to check on Child #2. She is fine.

Child #1 asks, "Were you wearing underwear?"

I respond, "Well of course I was, silly."

So maybe "bowling" in the basement wasn’t such a great idea.

BUELLER? BUELLER? BUELLER? ANYONE? ANYONE?

Since the dryer does a vibrating dance across the basement floor and has included a high pitched squeaking noise (which you can hear all over the house, upstairs) rejecting my persistent demand for usage. We finally have agreed to purchase a washer and dryer (so maybe it was me making the decision, neither here nor there).

For our first stop, we decide to head to Home Depot to check out prices. Of course, we have the three in tow, which will make the adventure even more challenging.

We get to the appliance section of the store and start looking around. For about fifteen minutes, we are comparing prices on the models that we are interested in meanwhile the girls are running and goofing around (being silly as usual) opening up every appliance they can open.

It occurs to me there are absolutely no employees anywhere. You think we would have at least maybe seen one employee walking around or on the computer or even working with another customer, but no, nada. Then I think, maybe I need to get my kids under control and then we can be more approachable.

Drill sergeant mom appears and lines the kids up against a wall and threatens if they move, make a sound or whine they will lose out on the bike ride later this afternoon. We continue on, looking at the higher end models and still no sales person.

This is starting to piss James off of course, so he says “HELL-OOOO! ANYONE THERE?” He was kind of loud and I started quietly laughing.

No response.

“I GUESS WE’LL BE GOING TO SEARS THEN!”

Still, no response.

As we are leaving the appliance area, some lady comes running after us to tell us that the appliance employee is back in the warehouse and will be out in just a minute (what on a 20 minute smoke break? Then get some freakin’ back up).

Then the manager intersects us before we leave as well.

She asks, “Can I help you?” while talking into her walkie-talkie.” (Yeah, don’t let us interrupt your very important job with soooo many customers in the store).

I understand the economy is a little slow, but come on.

I reply, “We were interested in purchasing a washer and dryer, but we have three small children and they just can’t wait around anymore.”

No response.

And we make our exit.

The Thankless Job

It’s nine o’clock. I turned out the light in the girls’ bedroom. Child #2 didn’t want to go to sleep just yet.

“I said no you have to go to bed now. It is way past your bedtime.”

She got out of her bed and was going to turn the light back on.

I told her, “If you turn it back on, I will take back all the shoes I just bought you.”

I leave the room, but still can hear her.

Child #2 says, “You are the meanest mommy ever. I am going to call you step mom. I don’t like you meanie. You are the meanest step mom ever. You’re mean, your meanie mom, you’re mean mom.”

Silence.

Child #2 continues, ”Mom, why are you not listening to me. MOM! Why are you not listening to me. I know you can hear me. You’re mean mom. I know you are ignoring me. You are so mean. You are laughing at me mommy. I know you are laughing. Fine I am going to ignore you mom. I am ignoring you mom. You’re mean mom.”

Silence. I continue ignoring her.

I know you can here me mom. You’re mean mom. You’re laughing. You’re making me fun of me.

I say, “Child #2, I am not laughing at you and I never make fun of you.”

“Yes you are. You’re laughing in your head at me.” Okay so she got me there.

You’re mean, mom. You’re mean, mom. You’re mean mom…

Silence. She fell asleep.

Rationality went out the Window

This is what happens to your rationality when you become a parent.

The clock turns five o’clock. I reach my car in the parking lot. The phone rings.

“Was it Child #2’s friend’s birthday today?”

“I didn’t think so. I thought I was supposed to RSVP by today.”

“She is saying all her friends are going to be at the party.”

“Okay. Then go and I will stop at the store to pick something up for a gift.”

I go to the store pick up a gift. While driving, I am trying to stuff the gift in a bag and add tissue around it. I stop at a round about intersection (Yes, Liz, those dam round abouts again). I thought the guy in front of me was going to go, but of course he doesn’t so I bumped into him by accident (don’t worry, mom, I am okay, no one was hurt). I wasn’t even going 5 miles an hour. Anyway, all I am thinking is I don’t have time for this. I have to get to this birthday before it is over (again this is where all rationality leaves).

He pulls over and I follow him. I grab a pen and paper before I jump out of my vehicle. I tell the guy. I don’t have time for this. Here is my name and number. Call me with the estimate and we will work it out. I give him my license plate number as well. He basically says okay. And I take off.

There wasn’t any damage really. He had a pin-hole dimple in his bumper and no damage to my vehicle. No big deal. Right?

So I get to the party and tell James what happened. He asks me if the guy got into his car when you left. I said he was just looking at his bumper, but he was heading towards the truck door.

James says, “If he calls the police, that could be considered a hit and run.” Great, now I am going to be arrested.

The excitement never ends.

Musical beds

Last night, I put the kids to bed and went downstairs to use the treadmill. After my wonderful (come on, do you really believe that?) workout, I came up stairs to find my lovely three children sleeping all together on the floor in the playroom. Child #1 was actually sleeping and #2 and #3 were fake sleeping. I told the two to go back to their beds, which they did and fell asleep immediately.

All was good when I went to sleep.

After a few blissful minutes of sleep, Child #3 wiggled her way into my bed. When Dad came to bed, he moved Child #3 back to her bed. Not even five minutes later, Child #2 began to talk in her sleep and woke herself up. I heard the feet hit the floor and she was in the middle of our bed in no time.

About a half an hour later, Child #3 was up again calling for me. I go into the bedroom and she is sitting up yelling that there is a tiger-dragon on the floor so I lay down with her to try to get her to go back to sleep. Meantime I notice Child #1 is sleeping in her bed. With all the commotion of the other two, I didn’t even hear her get up. Anyway, I tell Child #3 that I will slay the tiger-dragon and be rid of him for good. She falls back asleep.

I go back to my bed.

This didn’t work because fifteen minutes later she is at my bed side telling me that the tiger-dragon was really scary. At this point I just want to SLEEP! Child #2 has fallen asleep so I move her back to her bed and let Child #3 climb back into my bed.

Dad leaves around 5:00am in the morning so when I woke up at 6:30am I find Child #1 and Child #3 sleeping next to me. I can’t win.

I really can’t figure it out because they usually only have bad nightmares when they eat bad food like McDonalds. We ate dinner at home and I made my burritos that they never have a problem with. Maybe it was something they ate at daycare. Oh well, it makes for a funny story later because I am not laughing now. I am really cranky.

What do tents, rain and mud have in common?

When combined, they suck!

So we planned a camping trip to Devils Lake this weekend with the kids, my brother-in-law and sister-in law and my nephews. We knew it would rain Friday night, but Saturday it was supposed to clear up and be 90º so we head up anyway. Our site was in a heavily wooded area so the rain wasn’t too bad. We were even able to get a fire going to cook hotdogs for dinner. Yeah, the ground was muddy, but the kids were having fun, dancing in the rain and sitting by the fire.

When it was time to put the kids to bed, we all climbed into the tent. Luckily we did because it just started down pouring, lightning and thunder, the whole nine yards. We were making light of the situations so the girls were laughing and giggling and having a good time.

Meantime the wind picked up and the rain came down harder. At this point the girls were sleeping.

All of a sudden, James said, “Awww! Come on!”

I ask, “What’s wrong?”

“I just got a bath.”

I say, “Really, what are you talking about?”

“A rain drop hit me in the face.”

“Are you kidding?”

“No!”

Then I pull the sleeping bag down and boom. I get smacked on the forehead. Every time one of us got hit by a rain drop, I started giggling. I couldn’t help myself. It was funny. We were laughing for quite awhile. Then we finally pulled the sleeping bag over our heads and went to sleep.

The rain didn’t stop until 11:00am the next morning. And it definitely wasn't 90º outside. Our tent was soaked along with everything inside the tent. We let the girls play in the rain while we took the tent down and packed up our stuff. Everything was extremely muddy too.

It did clear up and we took the kids down to the lake and walked the side trail next to the lake and fished a little too. But we headed back for home. I was going to take the girls swimming at our lake when we got home to make up for leaving early.

My sister-in-law, brother-in-law and nephews stayed, but they had brought an extra tarp to put over the top of their tent so their tent was dry inside. Lucky them:)

But they did get a few unwelcome visitors on Saturday night who ate all the food in the coolers. Does The Great Outdoors sound familiar? And it did rain again on Saturday night.

I think we just might go get a camper for next camping season.

To all the Honda Odyssey lovers…

To all you Honda Odyssey Minivan fanatics out there, this car absolutely, totally and utterly SUCKS!

With that being said, I feel much better now. Over the years, I can’t even count how many times people have told me that the Honda Odyssey is the safest and best Minivan on the market. My reply is it might be the safest Minivan, but it is not the safest vehicle on the market. I don’t think Minivans are safe at all (purely my opinion, can you tell I don’t like minivans?). There are so many other vehicles that are safer. I don’t have the list of safest vehicles out there, but if you can prove me wrong, I challenge you to do so.

I can tell you that my experience in the Honda Odyssey was a far cry from feeling safe in (I understand that it was a rental, but the car should be safe across the board whether you have leather seats or any of the extras in the car or not). As most foreign cars feel to me, I truly felt like I was driving a tin can. In addition every time I would break, something funky would happen with the steering wheel. It felt like the steering was locking (very strange). Plus the radio seek buttons were practically on the passenger side of the vehicle. Not safe to be leaning that far over and changing radio stations. I swear people couldn’t see the van when they were changing lanes (I drive very safe when I am in another state. It wasn’t me!). The driver’s seat was extremely uncomfortable, no lumbar support and the head rest was angled funny.

Now that I got that off my chest, I am happy to be back driving my gas guzzling four-wheel drive SUV. Have a nice day!

Monday...

The dark dim light in the sky that was revealed when the cool breeze lightly bumped the blinds against the window made me feel the urge to play hooky from work this morning. I felt warm under my blankets and didn’t want to move. I could hear the leaves slapping against each other sounding like a light drizzle relaxing me back to sleep. The devil on my left shoulder implored for me to stay in bed while the angel on my right shoulder encouraged me to get up. There is always a need for a vacation after a vacation, but today was not my lucky day.

Anyway we took the girls on their first airplane ride over the weekend. They have now experienced flying in an airplane and I have identified the optimal age for a child traveling.

Would you like to know?

Read on to find the answer.

I bought these really cute purple suitcases that they would be able to pull through the airport themselves (carry-ons so we wouldn’t have to pay the extra fee for each piece of luggage) and grandma bought matching pink backpacks to put all their activities in. We had to check the car seats (by the way, if you didn’t know already car seats are free to check on the airplane) and one suitcase for us.

Yes we noticed all the people staring thinking how cute the three little girls pulling purple suitcases and carrying pink backpacks through the airport was. This didn’t last very long. The pink backpacks gravitated to Dad. Then one purple suitcase ended up in my hand and the other ended up in Dad’s hand. Everyone was still thinking the girls were cute, but Dad was getting sympathy looks for carrying the backpacks and suitcases. So that leaves one purple suitcase. Can you guess which child actually pulled her suitcase through the whole trip?

This leads to the answer to the question. Six years old is the optimal age for a child to travel. Child #1 was definitely the trooper through all the airport trips.

Overall, the girls were great through the trip. They did well in the plane, swam in the ocean for the first time and had a blast with their cousin.