Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Excuses

So Child #1, my five year old, asked me a few weeks ago if she could have her nails painted like her friends at school. Now that I have had a few weeks to mull this over I have warmed up to the idea of letting her explore this area of being a girl. Off we go to the store to pick out her own bottle of polish while her sisters are at school. I was fully aware that her sisters would be jealous of Child #1's freshly painted pink nails when I picked them up from school, but I would deal with the complaining for the evening. I told them that it was too late tonight and that we would paint them tomorrow. Of course, my answer wasn't good enough for Child #2 so she kept wining and crying about how it wasn't fair that Child #1 had her nails painted. I repeated very calming, five more times, that we would paint hers tomrorow. I continued to clean up after dinner and ran down stairs to throw another load of laundry into the washer. It seemed Child #2 had accepted my final rebuttal, the complaining had ceased for the moment. When I walk into the living room to tell the kids to get ready for bed, I discover Child #2 had a full set up pink nails. In my moment of shock that my kids would defy my authority so easily, I yell that she was grounded and we would NOT be going to Discovery World tomorrow. Child #2 was speechless, but she almost looked like she was secretly happy it was worth to get in trouble for. Child #1 jumps in to help with excuses, hoping she could save Discovery World, with "She told me to paint her nails because she wanted her nails painted." Obviously at this critical moment, Child #1 had said the wrong thing to me. I go off with the typical parent sayings. "If your friends told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" and "When you know it is wrong, you shouldn't listen to your friends." I should have left it alone at this point, but I continued on with one last fleeting attempt to get through their heads that they should be their own persons. "You shouldn't listen to anyone when they tell you to do something naughty." My little, too smart for her own good, daughter says to me. "So if you tell us to jump off the bridge, we should jump off the bridge?" I really have to get a start on researching boot camps. We are definitely going to be in trouble in a few more years.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Middle Child-What was I thinking?

This morning, it was way too cold to go to church or breakfast for that matter. The kids drag me out of bed to make breakfast because they were hungry. Imagine that hungry when you wake up, who would've thought? I decided I would make breakfast burritos so I start the sausage, scrambled eggs and shredding the cheese. Trying not to burn the sausage and eggs, I pulled my attention away from shredding the cheese. I was in my little own world, let's face it the morning isn't my best time of day. I vaguely remember the girls laughing and running around behind me. I think I just passed it off as them doing their dress up thing and dancing around. The sausage and eggs were done so I turned around to grab the cheese. The cheese disappeared and Child #2 is running the other direction laughing with a trail of shredded cheese falling in her wake. The shit never reached the fan because I was chasing her down like a lion after a water buffalo. Needless to say, I am looking into boot camps now. 13 is going to hell on earth in the Hansen household.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Snow days-You got to love them!

I wasn't going to write about this, but Erin found this to be quite funny so I thought I would share. Of course, I knew we were going to have a snow day so I slept in a little knowing I wouldn't have to rush around to get the girls and myself out the door. I eventually got up when the girls started complaining that they were hungry. Since I slept in, I thought I should probably be somewhat productive today so I put the dishes away, started the laundry, took the kitchen garbage out and started breakfast.

Then the phone rang. This is where everything went down hill. The first words out of the voice on the phone says "Can you do me a favor?" I hate when people say this because it is definitely a trick question. Of course, I want to say hell no, but I calmly reply "Yeah. What do you want me to do?" James forgot to take the garbage to the curb. It is garbage day and we have snow banks 8 feet high. What is he crazy? Well maybe not 8 feet, but they were at least 2 feet.

I start to pull on all my winter gear to go outside to shovel a path to the curb for the garbage and predictably, the kids want to come out with me. I bundle everyone up to go outside, which takes an extra fifteen minutes. We get outside where I successfully shovel a path and pull the garbage to the curb just in time for the garbage man to pick up. Yeah! Here is where I go wrong, I start to shovel the front porch and in front of the garage just to prepare for his brother to come over and plow us out. Child #1 says "Can I help mommy?" My answer "Well of course, you can help." I hand her another shovel and she lasted a whole minute and goes back to playing in the snow. No problem. As I am backing up to push some more snow out of the way, I step on something and couldn't control my balance anymore. The whole slow motion factor comes to mind as I am falling, I am thinking what the hell is happening I can't control myself. Then it hits me, I am falling and I have no idea what I am going to land on. I twist slighting to try to catch myself, mistake number two. Once I hit the ground, I realize that I had stepped on the shovel that Child #1 had left in my path after she decided it wasn't fun to shovel anymore. Needless to say, I got the wind knocked out of me and a shovel handle jammed and scraped up one side of my body. Oh and I have some kind of nasty bruise on my forarm that I have no idea what I hit it on. And about now I think I pulled all my upper back muscles too. I am pretty sure I won't be able to move in the morning, but all in all I just love snow days.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Love/Hate Relationship

Okay so I woke up yesterday morning and weighed myself after a week of absently ignoring my weight and exercise routine. I didn't workout all of last week because of tiredness and a little lazy on the side. To my expressionless shock of horror, I gained 4 pounds. Apparently I will never be able NOT to workout again especially since I love to over indulge myself in too much food. Maybe skipping a day here or there, but not a whole week if I want contain my weight. Do the math, if I didn't workout for the rest of the year that would be 4 pounds a week, 52 weeks a year. I would be 350 pounds by next Christmas. Now be honest, would you still be my friend then? I don't think I would even want to be my own friend. And I would have to kiss Girls Night Out good-bye because not too many restaurants can accommodate 350 pound persons. How embarrassing would that be? See I know my problem is eating too much food, I get it. The calorie counting is simple math and science combined together, but who wants to count stupid calories every day for the rest of their lives. Ewww, it gives me the willies just thinking about it. Damit I want to be able to eat that snickers bar or reece's peanut butter cup when I want to. Now that I have completely scared the shit out of myself with a little bit of "Drill Sargent" motivation, I started back on my workout schedule last night. I think I truly hate exercising:)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

LOL

During my lunch hour, I had an appointment at Azana so afterwards I scooted over to the mall to finish up my lunch hour with a little shopping. It's been awhile, but I actually went through Victoria Secret and made a purchase. I am definitely expanding my horizens. Things are looking up. I am feeling pretty good about myself. I stop off at the Limited on my way out of the mall as well and make another purchase there. I get all the way back to work, sit down at my desk, eat my sandwich and then brush the crumbs off my lap. Wouldn't ya know it my fly is wide open as a window in the middle of a summer breeze. Hopefully my jacket covered me while I was galavanting through the mall. Otherwise all the people in Victoria Secret and the mall might have gotten a view they weren't expecting.