Psycho Soccer Mom... Who me?

As predicted by my husband, I have become the psycho soccer mom.

I have to start from the beginning so bare with me.

I signed Child #1 for a soccer club. Now when you pay good money for a program that is supposed to be a step up from the park and rec, you have a certain level of skills you expect your child to learn.

With that being said, I volunteered my husband to be coach (my husband has played soccer from age six to high school where he went to state twice and had an opportunity to play for the Milwaukee Wave, that is before he put a saw through his foot, but that isn’t the point) hoping to improve the quality of the program. Unfortunately, he wasn’t picked for the job (I didn’t think we had to list his whole resume for the job). He wasn’t even picked for assistant coach (and we have two assistant coaches).

So guess what we ended up with as coaches. I bet you won’t guess in a million years.

Drum roll. We get a F@$%&#$ ex-football punter coach with two assistant coaches that have no coaching skills whatsoever.

Practices are too early for me to make so James has been taking Child #1 to all the practices. He has been filling me in on what has been happening at practice so I am a little agitated already by the time we get to our first game.

We show up for the first game. The other team is organized and running drills before the game. All three of our coaches are standing around talking while the girls stand in line not knowing what to do.

At this point, my skin has turned red from my boiling temper. I am ready to go out on the field and start guiding them in skills to get them warmed up. James has to hold me back. I am supposed to give them the benefit of the doubt. Right?

The game starts and our team has no idea what to do. And our awesome football coach (Everyone hustles in soccer including the coaches, THIS ISN'T FOOTBALL) is not doing anything to help the girls get into position. Frankly there is no communication whatsoever. This is all about learning positions and rules. Sport teams are all about organization and teamwork. I am seeing none of this.

I get it. It is supposed to be fun, but come on. There has to be some kind of skill building here. I think our team was so confused they didn’t know which way to go on the field. Even with being pissed, I still cheered on loyally for our team. A few times I had to walk away to cool off, but I behaved the rest of the game.

I am not even sure it’s a good idea for me to show up to the rest of the games, but I will risk it for my daughter.

Well, this probably just marked me as the bitchy mom around school. Oh well. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Child #2 and #3 will be joining in the spring.