Puzzled

As you all know, I’m a pretty active person. I do a little of this, a little of that. Okay so I pretty much kill myself working out during the week, running, walking, biking, weight lifting and swimming (the swimming actually only pertains to when I compete in a triathlon, okay so once a year, I still kick ass with my swimming time). I know you would think I would have this great body, except I enjoy food too much so everything evens itself out in a sort of acceptable body form (it’s all gravity’s fault). I’ve already gotten off track thus I will reel myself back in (thanks a lot).

So I decide on Wednesday night I am going to change up my routine, I am going to try boxing. Not just any kind of boxing, Wii boxing. (Did you hear that drum roll?) Consequently, I play the boxing for about forty minutes. I’m sweating, breathing hard and my arms feel like jello. I switch to tennis to cool down. I figure it was a good work out probably not as good as running, but the treadmill needed a rest. I’m almost certain I will be sore in the morning (I wasn’t born yesterday, I know how this works).

Well, of course, I wake up sore, but it wasn’t too bad.

Granted, I am completely aware that my competitive nature circles full-force when I play the Wii, but it shouldn’t be any different than lifting weights or running. Right? Wrong. The worse comes the following morning. I’m more achy and sore than I was yesterday. It hurts to lift my arms above my head just to put my shirt on. Why does it take TWO days to feel the full effect of what the Wii does to you?

Time crunch

It never fails when you are in a hurry the plan in your head never seems to prevail as imagined. Like most mornings, I’m running a little late. No big deal, I’m almost finished. I just have to put my make-up on and I can shoot the kids out the door and be on my way. Except…let me stop here to explain the “Oh Shit Outcome,” this is when you know you are doing something that is undesirable, but you continue to do it anyway because you don’t have time for the alternative-to start over…I start my make-up routine and realized I put too much on one side, but I continue to put more on thinking somehow this will fix it. I don’t have time to wash my face and start over. Considering its winter, I have the ghost color arms and neck and now an overly baked face with a twinge of too much orange. I can’t even bare to look in the mirror again so I run the kids out the door into the car. I pull the rear view mirror towards me (you know how natural light shows everything) and the horror shocked stricken look crosses my face. Immediately, I start rubbing my face with my hand trying to pull some of the powder off while I’m driving down the road. This is not working so I pull out a tissue. This works, but now I look like a red lollipop with hair. I hope no one notices at work.

Why have a table?

Why have a table, anyway? It doesn’t make sense to have to clean two surfaces three, maybe more, times a day. If I have to clean the floor after every meal, why not eliminate the table completely? Then I will only have one surface to clean. Let me rewind a minute. This all started, and yes my narcissistic side rears it’s ugly head, when I allowed each one of my daughters to invite a friend over on Saturday for a play date. Now if you can’t do the simple math, I will help you out. That would be six girls running around my house. Follow me here. I do have a reason for all this torture, but it is definitely self-serving. The goal is to force me into cleaning my house. If I have people coming over, I have a deadline to get my house clean. Otherwise, you really don’t want to know what levels I will stoop to in order not to clean my house (if you’re not good with chaos, you might not want to show up unexpectedly). And I always clean the night before or the place is trashed before the guests arrive (mistake number one).

Since I have had children, I have turned into a surface cleaner due to the time factor. Let’s face it, it just takes too dam long to clean everything. So I make due by ignoring things for example, cabinets. My cabinets are on the dark side so a lot of things don’t show up in a glance. So I begin picking up the kitchen (paperwork is my arch enemy next to the laundry), those everyday glances turned into inspecting (mistake number two) and I find myself scrubbing down the cabinets. Between the dust that has collected on the raised parts of the cabinets and caked on food that I had never noticed before, I freaked out. God, there was some kind of barbecue sauce on one of the bottom cabinets. WE HAVEN’T HAD ANYTHING WITH BARBECUE SAUCE SINCE THE FALL. As soon as, I was down to this floor level everything was becoming really clear. I crawled over to the table (mistake number three). You don’t even want to know what I found. We have a four leg table with six chairs. Really, if the math is still too hard, allow me. That is 28 legs of wood. Every leg had something caked on it. It wasn’t the outside of the legs where things would have been easily noticable. I’m talking about the inside part of the leg. You know when the milk splatters all over the floor or the bowl of apple sauce is accidently knocked off the table and lands on the floor upside down. All this splatter has a bounce factor. This little awakening cost me seven and half hours of cleaning instead of four intended hours of cleaning. Obviously, this leads me back to the question, why have a table?

Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

By the time I was done cleaning it was 2:30 in the morning. I dragged myself to bed with a back ache from all the free manual labor I just did and exhausted to the bone. But my house was clean. Not even five minutes had passed when child number three comes bouncing into the room wide awake ready to play with a huge happy grin on her face. She says, "Hi Mommy!"

Morning Routine

You know the morning isn’t going well when you spread antibacterial hand soap on your face instead of your moisturizer. Dam, I have to move my moisturizer away from the soap. Not only did I do one cheek, but I did the other cheek and both my eyelids before I realized what the white substance was on my skin. I don’t know where this lack of detail comes from. Oh wait, could it be the several times my sleep was interrupted last night? Child 1 talking in her sleep, child 2 crying in her sleep, child 3 crying her foot hurts.

I think I have less hair now

Apparently nothing is sacred anymore in our house. I have a shelf at the end of the hallway, which holds a glass case that houses all the little figurines I collected when I was a child. My oldest child is 5 years old almost 6 so I have been dealing with kids for a while now. You would think that I would have had problems with this before. At least one child would possibly be interested in the figurines. No not one was ever interested in them. I think this was the problem. You tend to only remember the things around that you have to say "NO" a million times for. I guess after 5 years of not noticing the figurines, Child #1 decides to climb on a container and get a figurine. I only know this because first there was a loud boom and then a crash following it. She claimed she wanted one. No other explanation. Needless to say not all of the figurines walked away unharmed. I have several decapitated cats and several appendages missing from other animals. It wasn't a happy day for the animal kingdom. At least the glass case was unharmed and of course Child #1 wasn't hurt either.