Internal Pressure

Three must be the magical age to eliminate internal pressure.

Now according to www.yourdictionary.com

Internal means of or having to do with the inside, and

Pressure means a compelling influence, constraining force, demands requiring immediate attention; urgency

Essentially, I coined the phrase internal pressure for when you are away from your children and you feel this urgency to get back to them. Whether you are making a Target or grocery store run, you try to complete the task as quickly as possible just to get back to them (and it always pisses you off when you forget something you really needed because you were rushing). Usually you try to do these tasks when you need a break, but then you find yourself feeling guilty for not spending every waking moment with them when you are not at work.

I would find myself rushing home when I knew my husband had everything under control. Even when I was two minutes late for picking the kids up, I would internally beat myself up. This internal force sucks you into thinking your children need every second of your time especially when they are babies (obviously this is something us moms do to ourselves).

Since my youngest has turned three, I am actually enjoying my twenty minute ride home now, listening to music and not worrying so much (it is actually 25 minutes now because of Racine Ave being shut down, dam construction). I don’t rush in the grocery store or at Target anymore, although I end up taking one of the kids with me, usually the one who has been the best behaved for the day, the reward for good behavior (it always amazes me on how the behavior of one child is so much different than the behavior of three children together).

It probably has to do with my kids getting older and not needing me as much, but I do feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Because is that two minutes ever really going to matter in the grand scheme of things? It has only taken me six years to figure this out.

Everyone can tell you how hard it is going to raise children, but you never really grasp the level of difficulty until you experience it for yourself.