Unforeseen Talent

What is a four letter word that starts with an "S" and ends with a "T"?

On Saturday, Child #1 had team pictures before her basketball game. In order to prepare for the waiting around, I allow all three kids to bring their DS's (which I have to admit helps tremendously with keeping them out of trouble). I finally get everyone situated when all of a sudden Child #2 sneezes. I've never seen so much snot in my life just hanging half way down Child #2's face. I'm mean it was just suspended there. Really just hanging, too much to suck back in or just wipe with the good old sleeve. At least it was as clear as water and not that yellow or green color.

Now that I've grossed you out. Sorry, I digress. After my moment of awe, I realized I needed to help her. Of course, I start laughing, but I quickly herd her into the bathroom and get some toilet paper. Not one drop on the floor. Now that's talent. I'm not sure how many people saw the incident, but it would've been traumatic for the average bystander except for me I couldn't stop laughing. I didn't want to make Child #2 embarrassed so laughing was better than saying how gross it was. She thought it was funny after I got her all cleaned up. We had a good chuckle together. 

Some might say "Shit Happens" but sometimes "Snot Happens."

Unknown Bottle Contents

The funny thing about questions are you never know what you're going to get (like a box of chocolates). My favorite question starts out with "What was in that bottle of..." The surprising thing about this time it wasn't coming from my children, it was coming from my husband.

Stop. Rewind 10 years. When we bought our house, we were going to replace the front window with a nice bay window. Now that has turned into me just wanting any kind of window with crank outs. Since we all know the old saying "if it ain't broken, don't fix it," well that's my husband's favorite philosophy. While I've been waiting for the new window (don't mind my grey hair by the time the new window's installed), I haven't bought any new window treatments. I didn't want to spend any money until we got a new window. Logical, right?

Anyway, the house came with blinds and curtains, which have weathered a crazy dog and three rambunctious children.  The curtains were ripped out of the wall too many times to repair so we eliminated those last year.

Four days ago the pull string broke on one set of blinds.

Two days ago, the pull string broke on the other set of blinds. So I found cheap blinds at Walmart for $11 each (not bad for temporary blinds for another 10 years while I wait for a new window).

Now for instillation. How long will it be before the hubby hangs up the new ones (not too bad only two days). While I was playing taxi, the hubby was hanging the new blinds (he did a great job). We meet up at a basketball game and the infamous question is asked, "What was in the bottle of Windex under the sink?"

My first initial response would've been Windex, but I ponder the question for a moment. Before I can tell him, I break out laughing. I made a mixture of water and Oxiclean in an old bottle of Windex so I could get some stains out of the carpet (works great). The thought is what counts. He washed the outside and inside of the window with Oxiclean.

His response, "Well that makes sense. I kept spraying and scrubbing and I couldn't get the streaks off the window."

When we got home, the window was covered in a cloudy white film. The real bottle of Windex cleared it right up.

Paybacks a...

When I was working the normal 8 to 5 grind, it was extremely difficult to get all three children out the door by 7:15 am. Now you can image waking up three tired children all under the ages of six to feed, dress, pack and get into the car. You name it, I've done it. Begged, pleaded, threatened, yelled and maybe even pushed a little to get them going. Not to mention, I did this every morning by myself for six years.

On the flip side, my kids can get up leisurely now. Waking naturally and blissfully from their full night sleep. Considering the bus doesn't pick them up until 8:55am, they have all the time in the world. In a perfect world, you'd think there would be no temper tantrums, fits, whining, crying, yelling, fighting in or around our house. It should be all green meadows, daisy picking and sunshine filled mornings. Right? Well I hate to break the news to you all, there is no perfect world.

I would like to share this morning's last five minutes before the bus picked my kids up. This does not include any breakdowns within the house.

Child #1 yells (more like screams so the whole neighborhood can hear her) at Child #2.
Child #2 starts crying.
Child #2 hauls off and kicks Child #1 (my kids play soccer) in the shin. (It was a good kick).
Child #1 starts crying.
At this time, I've not said a word. I'm just minding my own business on the porch.
Child #1 hauls off and kicks Child #2 (Good force behind that one).
Now both are crying and yelling at each other.
I tell them they are both grounded tonight. Banned from technology.
Suddenly, they're both coming toward me yelling at me on how I should've handled the situation. The volume on both children hasn't changed from their outside voices. And I find myself in the middle of a war zone. Sucked in by an eight and seven year old.
Meanwhile Child #3 is innocently waiting for the bus at the end of the driveway.
The bus comes and the neighborhood is peaceful again.

Well, I hope my neighbors were entertained. I enjoyed the part when they got on the bus to go to school.

Monkeying Around

After the little ducklings get on the bus to school, I usually start a load of laundry do the dishes and then go workout. I know it's a hard life I lead, but someone has to do it. Well lately I've noticed Child #3 leaving her Monkey George (that's what we call Curious George) around the house, which she has always done. Recently, the difference has been Monkey George wearing a dress or Monkey George swaddled in her favorite blanket or Monkey George with a bib on. Oddly enough I find myself searching for Monkey George every school morning just to see what he is wearing or what position he is left in. Maybe I've gone off the deep end, but I'm still not ready to go back into the workforce so I will continue indulging in my hobby of writing.

Life as a kept woman.

I've turned into everything I expressed greatly as a child I wouldn't become. Oddly, I'm okay with it. A lot of my view points as a kid came from watching Lifetime movies (Hey, I'm not the only one out there that had this experience). I knew I was never going to have children because I never wanted one to be kidnapped, raped or killed. Then I was never going to be an at home mom (considering I wasn't going to have children) so my husband could walk out on me leaving me with no money and children to take care of. With a little of influence from Working Girl, I was always going to work and make my own money.  So the future entailed me getting a business degree (completed) and working my way through the corporate ladder (fourteen years experience in the business world completed).

As you all know, I ended up married to a man I could never replace and three beautiful children I just pray I won't screw up.

So the moral of the story is that you can never plan your life. You can make plans, but implementing the plan might not always come to fruition. I'm enjoying my little house on the lake and being the at home mom I never was going to be and happier than I ever been.

Now this doesn't mean I actually like doing housework (I despise it, but I would have to do it whether I worked or not) or homework with my kids (I feel the homework is not for the kids as much as it's for the parents) or volunteering at school (other children aren't my cup of tea) or grocery shopping (well there's more to the list, but I don't want to bore you), but I enjoy the freedom it gives me to enjoy life with my kids that I probably would've missed if I continued on the corporate ladder. Not to mention indulging in several hobbies I would've never dreamed of.

Here's to everything happens for a reason!